I was in Wholefoods
in Camden recently, wasting time before a movie but also pretending
to be in the Wholefoods on Lincoln and Rose (and failing miserably
because the aisles were so narrow), when I heard a familiar drawl:
two elderly American tourists were walking through condiments looking
worried.
“Can you see the
Graaaaam crackers, Donald? Marcie needs them for the soup.”
Donald wasn't losing
his marbles - he couldn't see them because no-one knows what a Graham cracker is this side of the pond. I felt their pain. It was like
trying to find a Pot Noodle at a Ralphs.
I stepped in and
guided them to what I felt might be their next best option, Jacobs
Cream Crackers or Carrs Table Water biscuits. They seemed happy
enough with this frankly less than satisfactory substitute, and went on their merry way. Hopefully the mysterious Marcie was also okay
with this.
So much for my good
deed for the day (adjust halo) but going from London to LA - and then
back again after six years - has been an interesting transition.
I feel armed with
all sorts of useless knowledge about the DMV, where to buy the best
burritos (Hugos, in Atwater) and where to park on Speedway on a
public holiday (not telling) but rusty about where the Northern Line
meets the Victoria Line (and I'm a Londoner so I should know better).
Don't know if you heard though - but there was a Royal birth. Post-push, I interviewed Kay Burley from Sky News, who was part of
the media pack outside the Lindo Wing, waiting for
news of Prince George's arrival. Unfazed by the mammoth amount of
waffle it took to fill the best part of 11 hours, she
told me that she was proud to have a ringside seat at this historic event.
Across town another
birth was happening: Jane Bussmann has shot a test pilot for her new sit-com “Distinguished Ladies” about a writer for a
celebrity magazine who really wants to be a worthy war reporter. Her
Kate Middleton upskirt storyline was inadvertently topical, and very
funny. Another some-time Brit in LA and performer, author and comedy
writer for Smack The Pony, Brass Eye and South Park, Jane told the
gathered crowd the Sway Bar in Holborn, to leave if they were easily
offended. Of course no-one did and the most offensive jokes got the
biggest laughs. I hope a wise producer picks it up soon.
Dodging tourists on
'Boris bikes' I spent the day at the David Bowie exhibition at theV&A. If you're visiting London before August 11th, do
go – get into the queue by 10.30am and you're almost guaranteed to
get a day ticket. His teeny tiny stage costumes need to be seen to be
believed.
Bowie is one of our best exports and so achingly creative
and inspirational, there was nothing left to do but buy a giant slab
of cheesecake at the museum's cafe. This is not America - no Graaaaam crackers required.
This is the first in a series of blogs from Blighty. If you want your event to be
featured in “Back to Jack” or suggestions about what I should review or where I should visit, contact lisamarksmedia@gmail.com.
No guarantees but if there's food and drink on offer, I'll be your
friend forever. Follow me @lisamarks
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